Who doesn’t love drinking games? Nobody. So often, we find ourselves in desperate need of an alcohol-aided escape from our miserable lives – so desperate this need is, in fact, that simply sipping a glass of wine at intervals of our fancy over a relaxed chat will not do, and we must have an activity whose sole purpose is facilitating and ensuring our continued booze consumption over the course of an “evening.”

We’re all familiar with movie drinking games, but usually we find them in the action or comedy realms, like Batman (drink each time Batman interprets a clue in a way that makes no sense, but leads directly to the villain), or The Matrix (drink each time you see someone wearing sunglasses when it’s not sunny/indoors). But sometimes, you need a drinking game and you need it now--but all you’ve got is Philadelphia. Not to worry! We can help. Here are six drinking games for when you don’t have a deck of cards, you’ve played all the other ones, or you’re simply deranged:

WALL-E: Here’s a kids’ movie with a lot of heart. So, drink every time you want the robots to have sex.

The Elephant Man: David Lynch’s fascination with the ultra-weird is somewhat downplayed (at least compared to the dancing little people of Twin Peaks) in this heart-wrenching story of a helpless outsider. So, drink every time you are horrified by this man’s hideous face.

Schindler’s List: With the news about the Japanese tsunami continuing to flood in, I’m sure I’m not the only one making a mental list of history’s most devastating events. I can imagine the Holocaust would make most people’s lists, so drink every time you get curious about what’s on Schindler’s grocery list, or every time he looks at/talks of/thinks about his watch.

Philadelphia: Ah, yes. The movie that taught us that gay people get AIDS. That was the take-away lesion – I mean lesson – right? Well, anyways, drink every time you start to think “jeez, Tom Hanks looks rough...” but then realize that he has AIDS and feel bad. Or every time Denzel does something homophobic.

Brokeback Mountain: Speaking of homosexual men, what about this instant classic? Drink every time they’re gay on the mountain.

Avatar: Well, it may not be a challenge to come up with drinking games here, so perhaps try this one on your second go-round. Drink every time you imagine having sex with a blue cat.

Additional Info

  • Subtitle: Dan Christensen wonders: what better place to drunkenly address your darkest thoughts but the movies?
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