On Tuesday afternoon, a three-judge panel on the United States Court of Appeals struck down the state of California’s ban on gay marriage. The judges declared that Proposition 8, which “eliminates rights of same-sex couples to marry,” violates the Equal Protection clause, and is thus decidedly unconstitutional. Well, holy-moly, slap me silly. Of course it is. Not only is Prop. 8 unconstitutional, it’s a pale shade away from yet another expression of outright bigotry dancing its way through the land of opportunity. But hey, California – good on you. Just in time for Valentine’s Day.

I shouldn’t be so cheeky in response to this battle (tentatively) won – truly, I think that ‘thrilled’ underemphasizes my reaction to the decision made by Judge Stephen Reinhardt and his courtside comrades. However, I can’t help feeling strangely hopeless and enraged that in the state which saw some of the earliest LGBTQ activism and one of the first Gay Pride marches (Los Angeles, June 1970), the rights of anyone but heterosexuals to participate in the institution of marriage are only now being (tentatively) granted.

I keep saying “tentatively” because even after the judges pronounced their ruling, Prop. 8 proponents (read: bigots and homophobes) are still allowed, and certainly intend, to appeal the decision by the February 28 deadline. As such, a stay of execution has been continued on the ruling, which is legalese for, “Hold your horses, Bert and Ernie. Don’t rush the altar just quite yet.” There still may be miles to go before we sleep – at least in a sanctioned marital bed with our same-sex partners or spouses.

At the risk of sounding like a Negative Nancy or an idealistic eternal pessimist, I’d venture that this battle won is only a small step for man and man, and a toe-wiggle for humankind. And to still be fighting for equal rights in a country that has historically (and violently) been concerned with rushing all over the place (think, Viet Nam, Afghanistan, Iraq) to liberate ‘infidels’ from the bondages of non-democracy strikes me as a bit discordant. Sorry, America.

Though I suppose it’s all too easy from our safe house up in Canada to get on the high-and-mighty horse about our own progressive engagement with queer rights. We legalized gay marriage like, 7 years ago! Sir Elton John got married here! In fact, the decision by the Ontario government to recognize a marriage performed in Toronto on January 14, 2001 made Canada the first country in the world to have a legal same-sex marriage. I mean, our tap water basically runs rainbow-coloured.

Make no mistake, that while Canadians love to cup each other’s liberal egos (“Look at us, we have universal healthcare!” “We helped run the Underground Railroad and eschewed slavery!” “I’m sorry!” “No, I’M sorry!”), there is still very much about our society – as a nation, and as pockets of urban and rural communities – that perpetuates inequality and oppression. Case in point: the ‘surprise’ health and housing crisis in the first-nations community in Attawapiskat, Ontario.

My point, which extends much beyond the scope of this food column (yes, it’s still a food column) is that we have far, far to go before we can turn to each other and share congratulations on progressing into a true moment of equality and inclusion. Being Canadian doesn’t give us a free pass. No matter what Stephen Harper’s “commitment to gay rights” might look like on paper, it is crucial to consider how the deployment of the “we love our gays” sentiment plays out in substantive practice; in the day-to-day lives and particular situations of the vast and varied LGBTQ community, which is by no means uniform, or even united.

BUT. The decision to strike down Prop. 8, and the words that accompanied the decision (see the top of this article) should not fall on deaf ears, nor should this achievement pass without celebration. Which is why I am dedicating this week’s dish, recipe and column to loving people loving people everywhere, gay, straight and in between (that includes you, asexuals). This dish has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, or gay marriage but it sure as shit will fulfill your needs, make you happy and keep you healthy. So maybe it does have something to do with gay marriage, after all.

Zesty Asparagus, Yellow Pepper, Campari Tomato and Spinach Pasta

Here’s what you need:

• About 10 spears of asparagus (this will make your pee smell, which is probably better than making your pee red, or making your pee sting)
• About 5 Campari tomatoes (or 2 medium sized regular tomatoes, or many little grape or cherry tomatoes)
• 1 yellow pepper (for aesthetic AND gustatory purposes)
• 1 cooking onion (for flavour and crunch)
• 6 cloves of garlic (Happy Anti-Valentine’s day)
• 1 lemon (when life gives you lemons, use their zest and juice in vegan pasta-making expeditions)
• A great big bunch of spinach, it wilts, so use a lot. (the wilting part might also have to do with marriage, in general. Happy Anti-Valentine’s day)
• Olive oil
• Pasta. Any kind of pasta. I happened to only have quinoa-brown rice-amarnth spaghetti pasta, and I do not recommend it. You hear that, gluten-free-ks? I hated it. It was glue-y. Just use regular pasta and ignore the stomach ache that you’re only getting because you’re thinking about it too hard.
• Asiago, or Parmesan cheese (optional, you difficult little vegans, you)

Here’s what to do:

1. Immediately fill a big bowl with cold water, and stick it in the fridge. Do this before you read the article. Too late? That’s okay. Do it now.

2. Break the ends off each one of your aspara-guys. Throw them ends away. If you don’t, these guys will be more unpleasant and difficult to chew altogether

3. Fill a pot with boiling water. Tricked you. Fill a pot with water that you will boil. Steam your aspara-guys. I don’t have steamer, but I DO have a metal colander, so I just used that. You can also put your aspara-guys directly into water if you want, but don’t leave them in there very long. You are going to blanch these babies immediately because you want them to be crunchy!



4. While your aspara-guys are steaming, chop up your garlic. You can chop up your onion and yellow pepper here too, if you have time.

5. Keep checking on your aspara-guys. They’ll probably be ready for blanching when you’re done chopping up that garlic. They’re done when they turn bright green.

6. Wait until the last minute (isn’t it always the last minute, like finding something in the last place you looked? If you’d found whatever you were looking for in the first place, it would also be the last place. Whatever.), and take your bowl of cold water out of the fridge. Dump your steamed aspara-guys into the cold water. BLANCH!

7. Let them sit in the cold water for a little bit, and then dump out the water and stick them in the fridge.

8. To give the aspara-guys a bit more time to hang out, take this time to finish chopping your pepper and onion, and zest your little lemon.



9. Zesting your lemon (this can be a euphemism for something fun to do with your partner on Valentine’s Day, so take a break here, if you need to) is pretty easy, as long as you have a cheese grater. Don’t believe anyone who tells you to buy things like zesters. Most kitchen things are just iterations of other kitchen things. So rub your lemon (another euphemism) up and down your cheese grater and collect the zested rind on a plate. Set aside. And keep the naked lemon, too.



10. Put some olive oil on a skillet, and heat ‘er up on medium. Throw your garlic on and cook for about a minute or so (or until you smell delicious garlic smell).

11. Throw on your pepper and onion, sautée for a few minutes. Add your spinach and mix it all around.



12. Fill a pot with boiling water. Tricked you again! Fill a pot with water. Start boiling the water for pasta.

13. Take your aspara-guys out of the fridge and chop ‘em up. Throw them on too, and mix it all around. Do the hokey-pokey.

14. Extract the lemon juice from the lemons with your handy juicer. Don’t have a juicer? Use your fingernails to remove the seeds, and squeeze the lemon juice over your cooking vegetables. Feel free to supplement with pre-squeezed lemon juice that you buy at the store.



15. Once the spinach has begun to wilt, add your zest. Mix it in.



16. Now, cover the whole skillet and shake it up. Let it cook for a few minutes while your pasta boils, and while you chop up your tomatoes, and your cheese (if you dare).



17. When your pasta is done, give it a rinse, add a tiny bit of olive oil to prevent stickage, and mix in your veggies. Add your tomato last, unless you’re adding cheese. I would reserve the cheese for a bowl-to-bowl basis.



18. Look at the glory (not the glory-hole) before you grab a fork and dig in!

I added this picture of two bowls in case you are sharing this meal as a Valentine’s treat, and needed photographic guidance of what more than one serving might look like. Enjoy!



_{* “The Age of Asparagus” was coined by Danya Zaitzow, fellow foodie and punster extraordinaire.}